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Price, 10 Cents. 




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OHAPPAQUA.i 

By a Farmer He(ftC 



COPY 

New Yui-.k 
JOHN P. JEWETty 

Publisher of "Uncle Tom's Cabin, " "The Lamplighter, " &c. 



E. S. Dodge & Co., Printers, 84 John St., N. Y. 



C: 6» 7 "i 



Knterecl aci;ording to Act of Congress, iu the yea 
By JOHN P. JEWETT, 
lu ihe nttice of the Librarian of Congrcs.s. at M'l 



^/3\ 



Hliiugtou. 



THit ^aiSlBEI^tTlAL vaTi, 





FKOM 1848 TO 18(58. 




1 




C.\NUIU.\TE. 


Party. 


Poi'l LAK 

Vote. 


w 


1848 

1852 

1856 
i860 

1864 
1868 


Zachary Taylor 

Lewis Cass 


Whig 

Democrat . . . 
Free Soil.. .. 
Democrat . . . 

Whig 

Free Soil .... 
Democrat . . . 
Republican.. 
American.. . . 
Republican . . 
Democrat . . 
■ Democrat . . . 

Union 

Republican. . 
Democrat . . . 
Republican . . 
Democrat . 


1,362,242 
1,223,795 

231,378 
1,585,545 
1,383,537 

157,296 
1,834,337 
1,341,812 

873,055 
1,857,610 
1,365,976 

847,953 

590,631 
2,223,035 
1,811,754 
3,013,188 
2,703.600 


163 
107 

254 
42 

174 
114 

8 

180 

I? 

72 

.]l 

21 
214 

80 


Martin Van Buren . . . 

Franklin Pierce 

Winfield Scott 


John P. Hale 

James Buchanan 

John C. Fremont 

Millard Fillmore 

Abraham Lincoln 

S. A. Douglas 

J. C. Breckenridge 

John Bell 


Abraham Lincoln 

Geo. B. McClellan. ... 


Horatio Seymour 



THE GREAT BOOK OF OUR TIME 

AND HOW TO MAKE IT, 

By H. L. READE. 
rrice, $3,50. Agents Wanted, \ 



jd>H]Sr P. JE\\^ETT, Piablishei 

No. 5 Dey Street, New York. 
2 



Preface. 

I. 

Kind reader ! here's a useful book, 
Wherein, if carefully you look, 
You'll find a statement, truly charming. 
About the queerest kind of farming, 
That ever yet, on this round earth. 
Has caused such roarous peals of mirth. 

II. 

But don't, I beg you, treat with fun. 
The plan on which this farming's done- 
For I can prove, beyond a doubt. 
That Horace knows what he's about, 
In putting Nature at defiance, 
And throttling vegetative science. 

in. 
This famous Sage at Chappaqua, 
Has gotten up a brand, new law. 
Whereby he can, as I will show, 
Make luscious figs on thistles grow, 
And sweeter grapes upon the thorn, 
Than you e'er saw since you were born. 
But read along, and get instruction, 
About this ver\ o;reen production. 



The Farm. 



The farm at Chappaqua is lovely, 
Its cultivation is most doveiy. 
Good Horace takes a lot of chaff, 
And Democratic truth, (don't laugh!) 
Adding some seeds and roots of slavery, 
And germs of that infernal knavery, 

II. 

Whence sprang rebellion, war and woe, 
x\nd says that he's prepared to show. 
If we'll but plant these same seeds over, 
We're sure to reap a crop of clover. 
And, mixing up a mess of sand, 
P'ound in abundance on his land, 

III. 

Ropes can be made, and called real leather, 

To hold the North and South together. , 

Besides, a spring of blarney oil, 

Bubbles spontaneous from his soil, 

By which to grease the wheels of State, - 

And stop all future squeak and grate. 



The Farm. 

IV. 

He also, with his green cheese press, 
Can heal "the late unpleasantness " 
With our dear brethren of the South, 
By cramming down the Northern mouth 
A lot of sodder — soft and mealy, 
Named from himself — " A pill of Greeley 



Extract from Mr. Greeley's Speech 
at Corry, Penn., Sept. 25. 

"I think it is time for the Northern people to 
say to their countrymen at the South : ' We have 
insisted that all the blacks shall be enfranchised, 
and they have been enfranchised; now, then, we 
insist that you shall be enfranchised also.' * * 
1 think the people ought to say in this election, 
and make the Southern people feel that though 
tliey had been very wrong, we have forgotten 
that wrong, and are now prepared to take hold 
with them and carry forward the destinies, to pro- 
mote and advance the greatness and glory of this 
country as one united fraternal people." 



The Fruit. 



The fruit of Chappaqua is good, 
Pleasant to see, and useful food. 
The grape and plum, and peach and pear, 
Flourish and grow abundant there. 
But Satan got at Greeley's ear. 
Sometime within the present year, 

IT. 

And made his simple soul believe. 
As once he did our mother Eve, 
That certain bubbles, filled with air, 
Are genuine apples, ripe and fair, 
The Presidential species, bright 
As butterflies, entranced his sight. 

TIT. 

And now, he's night and day agog, 
Fumbling about in mist and fog, 
Intent on clutching at the })rize. 
Which flits before his longing eyes. 
Aias I til is phantom in the air, 
Is like a thorny, prickly pear, 



The Fruit. 

IV. 

Or Sodom's apples, gold without, 
But filled with bitterness and drought. 
Yet should 1 raise a friendly voice, 
And warn him of his foolish choice, 
" I think, sir, this must be a briar," 
He'd sharply answer, " You're a liar." 
o 

Extract 

from a private letter, ivritten at Paris 
a few iveeks ago, to a gentleman 
in Neiu York. 
" One of the most remarkable facts which I 
hear from America is, that our old friend and 
admired editor, Horace Greeley, has actually 
been nominated as a candidate for the presi- 
dency, and seems as pleased as a child who 
reaches out its hands for a gaudy trinket. I can- 
not doubt Mr. Greeley's patriotic motives, but it 
does seem strange to me that he can aspire to a 
position which he knows to be so full of difficulty, 
and one which he is iTl-fitted to susi;ain, in case 
he shall be elected." 



The Stables. 

I. 

Of burbcs he has various breeds, 
Donkeys and mules and two faced- steeds. 
I know of some he used to ride 
Till the poor creatures fairly died; 
Vet he declared they were not dead, 
And still, on Ijran and saw dust, fed. 

II. 

A frisky team of wind in bags, 
Are now his fa\orite hobby nags. 
Their names, "Reform and Amnesty," 
Denote their splendid destiny. 
Which is to run off General Gran% 
(Although this kind of jackass can't.) 

in. 

Getting astride of both one day. 
He met a darkey on the way. 
And kindly offered him a ride ; 
Whereat old Sambo quick replied : 
" No, sail ! dis chile by instinc knows 
Dat drefful beast from ears to toes ! 



The Stables. 

IV. 

When once he felt de Northern lash-; . 
He kicked old Slabery all to smash, 
And now, a-draggin on de i)ieces, 
He look 'ciuite smart ' at woolley fleeces. 
Crist ride along on your old Dragon, 
Ciiffee will stick to freedom's wagon ! " 



Speaker James G. Blaine to Mr. Charles 
Sumner, July 31, 1872. 

" The colored men of this country are not, as a 
class, enlightened, but they have wonderful in- 
stincts, and when they read your letter they will 
know that at a great crisis in their fate you de- 
serted them. Charles Sumner, co-operating with 
Jefferson Davis, is not the same Charles Sumner 
they have hitherto idolized — any more than 
Horace Greeley, cheered to the echo in Tam- 
many Hall, is the same Horace Greeley whom the 
Republicans have hitherto trusted." 



The Poultry. 



The geese are lean at Chappaqiia, 

And deader ducks you never s^w. 

Poor Horace, in his poultry culture, 

Has long been plagued with that great vul 

The hungry Democratic party, [ture, 

Which he has often cursed most hearty, 



For skulking round his coops and pens. 
And carrying off his ducks and hens. 
But now, he moans, with grief and tears. 
For having, through so many years, 
Misunderstood its worth and beauty, 
And says, it's now his bounden duty, 

III. 

To let it swallow him alive — 
' In fact — adown its throat he'll dive ! " 
The keepers of The Vulture wink. 
And nudge each other with a blink ; 
And scarcely able to refrain 
From peals of laughter, or restrain 

10 



The Poultry. 



IV. 



Their bird from tearing out his eyes. 
Tell him with smiles (I don't say lies,) 
'Our Vulture shall, this blessed fall, 
Gobble you down, white hat and all ! " 
(But when the creature comes to choke, 
How mad he'll be to see the joke !) 



A few months ago Mr. Greeley wrote 
as follows : 

" I saw the other day a suggestion that 1 would 
probably be the best Democratic candidate to 
run against General Grant for president. 1 
thought that about the most absurd thing I ever 
heard or read. If the Democratic party were 
called upon to decide between (xrant and myself, 
I know that their regard for what they must call 
principle would induce nine-tenths of them to 
vote against me. Why .? I am a decided enemy of 
that party, even in its most respectable aspects." 



The Frog Pond. 
I, 

The frog pond up at Chappaqua 
Beats every thing I ever saw. 
I noticed as I passed along, 
Skulking around, a slimy throng 
Of reptiles, toads and copperheads. 
Reposing in their holes and beds. 

II. 

Being afraid — half scared to death — 
I ran till I was out of breath, 
When Horace called me, with a shout, 
'Their teeth and fangs are all pulled out. 
I did it with a 'liberal ' hook, 
Bent to a democratic crook, 

111. 

" And co^ ered with my sodder bait 
Composed of — ' no more wicked hate 
To treachery, ku klux and disunion — 
Let Truth with Error have communion.'" 
These varmints come and smell and dribble, 
Then swim away, return and nibble ; 

12 



The Frog Pond. 

IV. 

Doubting to bite, or not to bite 
The old hard crab they used to fight. 
Perhaps a dozen have been caught, 
(Good Greeley's votes are never bought,) 
And adding what he'll catch this fall, 
A quart tin pail should hold them all. 



Mr. Garrison to Mr. Sumner, A tig. 2, '72 

" It is exultingly announced by his organ, The 
Tribune, that ' a few years ago, if Horace Gree- 
ley had ventured into Georgia or South Garolina, 
he would have been hanged on the nearest lamp- 
post ; now his name is cheered to the echo in 
every Southern city, and the ex-slaveholders and 
soldiers of the rebellion, the men who always 
made Southern opinion, are unanimously in favor 
of electing him President,' A boast like this 
should be equivalent to tying a mill-stone around 
his neck to drown him in the depth of the patri- 
otic sentiment of the country. It is rebel cun- 
ning and duplicity of the broadest scale." 



The Bridges. 



As farmers often build a bridge 
Over a stream, from ridge to ridge, 
So Horace has a constant spasm, 
To arch and span "the bloody chasm." 
Weeping and sad, he takes his stand. 
And stretches out his friendly hand, 

II. 

Longing to squeeze, in clasping grab, 

The very first rebel he can nab. 

He's very loving to these fellows. 

And says, he'll gladly blow the bellows, 

If they will furnish coal and ore, 

Of which their drills were made before, 

III. 

To perforate and blast the rock 

Of the old Union — whence the shock 

Of war, secession, fire and flood. 

Which cleft and filled this gulf with blood. 

He also, offers to donate 

And build a bridge elaborate. 



The Bridges. 

IV. 

Of cotton, decked with olive leaves, 

Being much softer, he believes, 

For tread of Southern demi-gods. 

Than the hard blocks and chains and rods 

Of Plymouth Rock and yankee knowledge, 

The Bible, spelling-book and college. 



Vice-President Colfax, at South Bend, 
Indiana, August 3, 1872. 

" The staple argument of our friends on the 
other side is conciliation, shaking hands, &c. 
Now, my own motto is conciliation politically, 
and reconciliation nationally. We have built 
up our steadily-increasing majority in this coun- 
ty by unity and harmony, never reading any one 
out of the party unless he read himself, and this 
is a political necessity for parties in a county, 
state or nation, and the sure pathway to victory ; 
and I am for reconciliaton, nationally, on the 
only safe basis of obedience to the Constitution, the 
laws and the guaranty of liberty to all, justice to 
all, a7id protection to all'' 

15 



The Grindstone. 
I. 

Let every man who has an axe, 

Bear in his mind the following facts 

Respecting Greeley's grindstone. Reid, 

Who turns it, is a friend indeed ; 

For any enterprising fool 

Who has the dullest kind of tool, 

II. 

Need only lay it on that stone, — 
A turn or two — the sharpening's done. 
Finding his wits as bright as steel, 
He nimbly turns upon his heel, 
And sallies out with lightning flash, 
To stab the truth, and cut and slash 

III. 
At good men's purpose, deed and fame, 
Putting the Devil himself to shame. 
This grindstone has a power of grit, 
But I'm afraid it has a split, 
Or something in the crank is wrong. 
Because The Tribune all along 



The Grindstone. 

IV. 

My youth and riper years, was found, 
On most great subjects true and sound. 
But now, abuse and 'Mies " it blends. 
Much to the grief of former friends, 
Descending, from its high estate. 
To deal in vengeful spite and hate. 



Thousands of the readers of The Tribune, who 
for many years have esteemed it as the best of all 
newspapers, have ceased to read it within a few 
weeks past. A President of a New England 
college once said to the writer of these lines : " I 
owe more to the columns of The Tribune than to 
all my other reading, for having trained my 
thoughts and sentiments in the right direction." 
He now deplores the tone and sj^irit of the paper. 



The Cider Mill, 



The cider mill, on Greeley's farm, 
Is put up only as a charm, 
Just while the canvass is proceeding, 
As apple brandy is much needing. 
That Horace may be made to float 
Adown the Democratic throat. 



The Tribune used to be severe 
On grog shops, rum and lager bier, 
But should he talk on temperance now 
Would'nt there be a high old row ! 
(Termans and Paddies in a crowd 
With curses deep, and long, and loud, 



Quicker than 1 can write the story. 
Would squelch his Presidential glory. 
So Horace now is quite indulgent. 
And goes around with smiles refulgent, 
And never being very proud 
Mingles most freely with the crowd. 

18 






The Cider Mill. 

IV. 

The Teuton roars, while coming near, 
"Where ish mine mug of lager bier ?" 

The Celt, all rolicking and frisky, 
" Och and be jabers ! where's the whiskey ? 

Poor Horace ! never in his life, 

Conscience with duty had such strife I 



Is it not lamentable to observe how reticent 
The Tribune is on the subject of Temperance, 
and other reforms ? It has been outspoken and 
bold in rebuking liquor dealers and the keepers 
of " Lager Bier " saloons. But since Mr. Greeley 
became a candidate for the Presidency what a 
lack of information and reproof on the subject ! 



The Guests. 



Good Horace, having in his mind 

The precept to invite the blind, 

The halt, and maimed, and crippled sinner, 

And give them all a first rate dinner, 

Has gathered up a gang of loafers, 

Rel)els and rogues and Union scoffers, 

II. 
And giving each a plate of gruel 
Assures them, it was very cruel, 
For Grant, to put in his relations 
Into the fat official stations, 
And leave the former nigger thrashers. 
And patriotic Union smashers, 



U'ithout a paying situation, 

Where they again could choke the nation. 

Also a crowd, whose heads are sore, 

Come thronging at his open door. 

All holding out their empty dishes, 

Anxious to get some " loaves and fishes — " 

20 



The Guests. 

IV. 

These patriots, rabid for " Reform " 
Around good Horace thick !}• swarm, 
While he prochaims, to all the kind, 
Tliat from this choice and si)Otkss band. 
He means to make a cabinet 
Of statesmen, most immacukite. 



Mr. Greeley Once "Wrote Thus: 

" Point wherever you please to an election dis- 
trict which you will pronounce morally rotten, 
given up in great part to debaucher)- and vice, 
whose voters subsist mainly by keeping policy- 
offices, gambling-houses, grog-shops and darker 
dens of infamy, and that district will be found at 
nearly or cpiite every election giving a majority 
for that which styles itself ' ])emo(n-atic ' Party. 
Take all the haunts of debaucher}- in the landi 
and you will find nine-tenths of their master- 
sjiirits acti\e partisans of that same Democrac}'. 
What is the instinct, the sympathetic chord, 
which attaches them so uniformly to this party? 
Will you consider? " 

21 



Wood Chopping (Sambo.) 



Horace has numerous colored hands 

Employed in clearing up his lands. 

One day he went among the bogs, 

To see these fellows get out logs. 

As they prepared and smoothed the bark, 

Whereon to cut his name as mark, 

II. 

He was, with horror, filled to see. 

How many carved it, U. S. G. 

He raised his voice, than thunder higher, 
" That's not my name, you scoundrel, liar ! " 
" Why, Massa Greeley ! " Sambo said, 
"We black folks thought you's sartin dead! 

III. 

" Tryin' to write H. Ct. we can't. 
Cause Linkum's ghost say 'cut for Grant.' 
And 'sides, it 'pears dat suthin's wrong 
When we'm'done tried de campaign song, 

' Hurrah for Greeley I ' For de Debbie 
He jine right in to sing de trebble ! 

22 



Wood Chopping (Sambo.) 

IV. 

" Knov»in' by dat his wicked rant, 
We rolls a refrain out for (xrant. 
We bondmen love de old white coat 
What help us to the freeman's vote, 
But when dat garment turn to gray 
We specs de milk am gone to whey." 



Whoever has had an intimate acquaintance 
with the Freedmen has been struck with the 
readiness of their perception of passing events. 
During the war they seemed to have an almost 
supernatural knowledge of what " the logic of 
events " was teaching. They knew their friends 
and enemies more readily than the white people 
did, and during the present canvass it is remark- 
able how cjuickly the colored people of both 
North and South apprehend the points at issue. 



Wood Chopping (Pat.) 
I. 

" And h'oAv'i^ your hbnor ? Glad you're here ! " 
Suddenly burst upon my car, 
I turned me round, there Patrick stood 
Also engaged in chopping wood. 
Some of his logs were marked H. (i. 
On top, as I could plainly see. 

II. 

He whispered through his grinning teeth 
"They're marked 'Ulysses' underneath, 
And them, your Honor, on the bank 
Have one side marked, the other blank. 
Jist come and see, election day, 
How rollin' of logs is made to pay. 

III. 

Our price is marked — who pays the same. 
Give us a drink — up turns his name. 
Tammany generally gives the most, 
i\nd now the cunning, cripple ghost, 
Has gone and told old Horace, that 
If he'll hold out his old white hat, 

24 



\ 



W^ood Chopping, (Pat.) 

The Emerald vote, like Autumn leaves, 
Win tumbk ill — and he believes ! 
But shure as he's his mother's son, 
He's li(-kin at the Blarney stone — 
The Paddy logs will turn up blank ! " 
Roared Pat, as on the grass he sank. 



Nothing is more ludicrous in the pending can- 
vass than the readiness with which the sons ot 
P>in promise to vote for Mr. (ireeley. 'I'hat 
many of them will fulfil thai promise is most 
probable ; but it is pretty safe to predict they 
will not vote verv " earlv " nor very '* often." 



^ 



Votes at the last Presidential Election. 



St:itc3. 

Alabama 

Arkansas 

California 

Colorado 

Connecticut 

Delaware 

Florida 

( ieorgia 

Illinois 

Indiana 

1 owa 

Kansas 

Kentucky 

Louisiana 

Maine 

Maryland 

Massachusetts . 

Michigan 

Minnesota 

Mississippi 

Missouri 

Nevada 

New Hampshire . 

New Jersey 

New York 

North Carolina. . 

Nebraska 

Ohio 

Oregon 

Pennsylvania. . . . 
Rhode Island... 
South Carolina. . 

Tennessee 

I'e.xas 

Vermont 

Virginia 

West Virginia. . . 
Wiscoiviin. ..... .-. 



Kej)Ul>lic;i 
76,366 



50,788 
7.615 



57 
250, 
176, 
120, 



3'^ 
39 

34' 
70 

30 
136, 
128 

43i 



134 
2g3 
548 
399 
02S 
,566 
420 
.433 
,442 
379 
.569 
686 



37,' 
80, 
419,' 
96,. 
9 



729 
222 
961 
280 

993 
300 
,368 



44,167 



Total.... 



29,424 
1-08,857 

3,015,887 



Sevuiour. 
Democrat 



Capital and Governor of each State. 

states. Capitals Governors. 

Alabama Montgomerj- Robert B. Lindsaj', 

Arkansas Little Rock O. A. Hadley, (act.) 

California Sacramento Newton Booth. 

Connecticut Hartford and Xew Haven . . Ma»-shall Jewell. 

Delaware Dover James Ponder. 

Florida Tallahassee Harrison Reed. 

Georgia Atlanta Benjamin Conlay. 

Illinois Springfield John M. Palmer. 

Indiana... Indianapolis ....Conrad Baker. 

Iowa Des Moines C. C. Carpenter. 

Kansas Topeka James M. Harvey. 

Kentucky Frankfort Preston H. Leslie. 

Louisiana New Orleans Henry C. Warmouth. 

Maine Augusta Sidney Perham. 

Maryland Annapolis Wm. Pinkney Whyte. 

Massachusetts. . .Boston Wm. B. Washburn. 

Michigan Lansing Henrj' P. Baldwin. 

Minnesota St. Paul Horace Austin. 

Mississippi Jackson James L. Alcorn. 

Missouri Jefferson City B. Gratz Brown. 

N'ebraska Omaha. ... Wm. H. James, (act.) 

Nevada Carson City L. R. Bradley. 

New Hampshire. Concord James A. Weston. 

New Jersey Trenton Joel Parker. 

New York Albany John T. Hoffman. 

North Carolina . . . Raleigh T. R. Caldwell, (act.) 

Ohio Columbus Edward F. Noyes. 

Oregon Salem La Fayette Grover. 

Pennsylvania Harrisburg John W. Geary. 

Rhode Island Newport and Providence.. . Seth Padelford. 

South Carolina. . . .Columbia Robert K. Scott. 

Tennessee Nashville John C. Brown. 

Texas Austin Edmund G. Davis. 

Vermont Montpelier John W. Stewart. 

Virginia Richmond , Gilbert C. Walker. 

Wesr Virginia, Wheeling H. Cadwallader. 

Wisconsin ^fadison C. C. Washburn. 



Population and Electoral Vote of 
each of the United States. 



_ , .. Klectoral i 

State. Population. y^,te. j| 

Alabama 096,992 10 ,j 

Arkansas 4841471 ^ j 

California 560.247 ^ 6 | 

Connecticut 537'454 ^ j 

Delaware 125,015 3 '\ 

Florida 187.748 4 

Georgia 1,184,109 11 

Illinois 2.539,891 21 

Indiana 1,680,637 15 

Iowa 1,191,792 ir 

Kansas 364^399 5 

Kentucky 1,321,011 12 

Louisiana 726,915 8 

Maine 626,915 7 

Maryland 780,894 8 

Massachusetts i,457i35i • • • '3 

Michigan 1,184,059 u 

Minnesota 439,706 5 

Mississippi 827,992 8 

Missouri 1,721.295 15 

Nebraska 122,993 3 

Nevada 42,491 3 

New Hampshire 318,300 5 

New Jersey 906,096 9 

New York 4,1582,759 35 

Xorth Carolina 1,071,361 11 

Ohio 2,665,260 22 

Oregon 90.923 3 

Pennsylvania 3.521,791 29 

Rhode Island 217,353 4 

South Carolina 705,606 8 

Tennessee 1,258,520 11 

Texas 818,579 8 

Vermont... 330o5i- 5 

Virginia. 1,225,163 11 

West Virginia 442,014 5 

Wisconsin 1,054. €70 lo 

•28 



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29 



LIBRftRY OF CONGRESS 



013 789 529 8 




r. s. CRAXr. 

CONTENTS OF THIS BOOK. 

A SPRIGHTLY POEM ON 

THE CHAPPAftUA FAUMER. 

rijKTKAITS l.)F 

GREELEY, BEOWN, CHANT, AND WILSON. 

Presidents, Vice-Presidents, Governors, 

KLi:( lOUAL VOTE. 

PopuldCwn, State Capitals, Elediom. and other 
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